I am sitting on the couch in my living room, reading for pleasure the book "Finn Family Moomintroll," and I find myself bursting into laughter.

"Mom, what's so funny?" my curious children ask. What indeed brought me to this liberating laughter?

In the story, there's a description of a particularly hot midsummer day when everyone is irritable and annoying. At some point, the beloved creatures in the story turn to Moominmamma and ask if they can spend the day in a cave.

Moominmamma, who I regard as the epitome of perfect motherhood, responds, "Fine, go. I could use a little peace and quiet from you."

This authentic reflection of one of those annoying days that can happen in any family, to any mother, including the most devoted one, and that, yes, she might react with a statement like "I need some peace and quiet from you," and it's entirely legitimate, gave me such a sense of relief, liberation, and ease that it led to my experience of this free laughter and the internal validation that, yes! Even if I sometimes feel this way, it's okay. It doesn't mean I'm not a good mother. It's normal for even an ideal mother to feel this way occasionally.

This is the deeply healing nature of the reflection that a good story provides.

The Healing Effect of Emotional and Cognitive Reflection

When a child recognizes their feelings and experiences in a story, they feel less alone. This process of emotional reflection helps them understand that their feelings are normal and natural. The experience of normalization is crucial because it provides relief and support. Instead of feeling isolated or strange about their emotions, they realize that others experience similar things, and it’s okay to feel that way.

Examples from Children's Lives

Consider a young child who feels upset about moving to another home. When he reads a story about another child struggling with the same experience and feeling sad, he feels less alone. This reflection provides comfort and emotional support, helping the child understand that their feelings are normal and accepted. This realization gives them the strength to cope with their changing reality.

The Impact of Reflection on Adults

Stories that reflect our internal dilemmas also positively affect adults. Reflection in literature helps us understand ourselves better, providing support and strengthening our ability to cope with difficulties. When we see ourselves in stories, we receive validation for our feelings and thoughts, which helps us feel normal and understood.

Instead of feeling guilty about certain thoughts and emotions we experience, and even feeling ashamed to admit them, which only increases the difficulty. This is because in addition to guilt and shame over these thoughts and feelings, we also experience loneliness with them. Here, the book reflects similar cases to us, where the story's heroes pass through similar experiences and, as a result, experience emotions similar to ours.

This reflection provides significant support:

1. I am not alone.

2. It's normal to feel this way.

This is also why people love stand-up comedy so much. The comedian simply brings to the stage human weaknesses that we are often ashamed to admit. When they present them, we understand that our problems are universal. We are not alone; we are not strange with our problems. The result is rolling laughter due to immense relief.

For Young Children (Ages 3-6)

1. "Where the Wild Things Are" by Maurice Sendak - This book captures the emotions of curiosity and fear of the unknown through the adventures of a boy named Max. It helps children understand and normalize these feelings.

2. "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" by Eric Carle - This book deals with themes of growth and change, helping children cope with the feelings associated with these experiences in a gentle and comforting way.

For Elementary School Children (Ages 6-12)

1. "The Little Prince" by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry - This classic book addresses values like friendship, love, and the meaning of life. It reflects emotional and cognitive dilemmas, helping children cope with deep life questions.

2. "Wonder" by R.J. Palacio - This book tells the story of a boy with a unique face who faces social challenges at school. It provides normalization and validation for feelings of being different and social difficulties.

For Teens (Ages 12+)

1. "The Call of the Wild" by Jack London - This classic novel tells the gripping story of Buck, a domesticated dog who is thrust into the harsh wilderness of the Yukon during the Klondike Gold Rush. The book explores themes of survival, resilience, and the innate connection to one's primal instincts. For teenagers, "The Call of the Wild" reflects the struggle of adapting to new and challenging environments, finding inner strength, and the journey of self-discovery. It provides valuable lessons about perseverance, the importance of adaptability, and understanding one's true nature.

2. "To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee - This book addresses issues of justice, morality, and empathy. It reflects the inner dilemmas of understanding right from wrong and helps teenagers grapple with complex societal issues.

Conclusion

Stories are more than just words on a page – they are psychological and cognitive mirrors that can change lives. When we provide children with quality literature that reflects their personal struggles, we give them a powerful tool to cope with life. The experience of normalization, validation, and support that stories provide is invaluable, and they can give our children the strength, confidence, and comfort they need. By filling their lives with stories that reflect and support their emotional journeys, we help them grow into emotionally resilient individuals.

In summary, quality literature can significantly influence a child's inner world by reflecting universal human struggles. This reflection offers healing through emotional and cognitive normalization and validation. It provides children and adults with the support they need to navigate their feelings and experiences. Through carefully chosen stories, we can nurture the emotional well-being of our children and ourselves, fostering a deeper understanding and acceptance of our emotions and those of others.

And as the wise saying says, Adults enjoy children's books too. Because every adult was once a child, and the child they once were still lives within them. They crave the same emotional validation and acceptance that a real child needs.